Names are deeply personal. They carry cultural, familial, and historical connections that give us a sense of who we are, the communities that we belong to, and our place in the world. Learning their correct pronunciation shows respect and consideration for the person behind the name and their culture of origin. The Nicholas School is committed to fostering an environment of respect, consideration, and recognition of the diversity that makes our community strong.
Below is a guideline, informed by the writings of Anparasan Sivakumaran, on how NSOE international and domestic members alike can honor and celebrate our collective diversity.
Inappropriate Behavior
Names can be difficult to pronounce. Out of fear of embarrassment, anxiety, or a lack of confidence, we may avoid trying to pronounce them. In doing so, our actions may unintentionally hurt and disrespect others. The Nicholas School encourages its members to reflect on the following inappropriate, yet common behavior on their journey toward meaningful change.
Phrases
“I’m never going to remember that.”
- Why it’s wrong: Names can be difficult to pronounce. However, saying this is dismissive, and communicates that you don’t value that person and their identity.
“Do you have something shorter for that?”
- Why it’s wrong: You’re basically saying, ‘look your name’s a bit too long for me. Can you make my life easier by giving me a shorter version?” This is disrespectful and shows an unwillingness to make an effort to learn someone’s name.
“Can I just call you X instead?”
- Why it’s wrong: Some names hold significant meaning. Refusing to learn someone’s name shows disregard for their entire history, culture, and identity.
Actions
- Tapping the person on the shoulder because you’d rather not get their name wrong.
- Pointing to them in a meeting or during class.
- Replacing their name with ‘him, her, them, etc.’ and hoping you’ll get away with it.
Empowered to Change
How to Self Correct
- Repeat someone’s name after they introduce themselves. If you forget during the introduction say “would you mind saying your name again? I missed it the first time because I was distracted by [interesting thing the person was saying].”
- Reassure them. “I really want to make sure I say your name correctly. Can you tell me how to properly pronounce your name?”
- Double check emails and shared documents. Incorrectly written names are time consuming to correct and can show a lack of care and consideration to the other person.
- Teach others around you. Before facilitating introductions, teach your peers the proper pronunciation of someone’s name in advance to avoid any awkward encounters.
- Correct others. If you hear someone’s name being said wrong and they’re not present, politely correct the mistake.
- Admit your mistakes and politely ask again. “Forgive me, could you remind me of your name?” This is a simple sentence that shows humility and a willingness to learn.
- Jot down the pronunciation in your notepad in a way that you will remember.
- Use mnemonics.
Correcting Others
Correcting others, especially those in power, can feel daunting and nerve wrecking. However, correcting these mistakes provides an opportunity for learning, growth, and personal power.
Tips
- Add email signatures on pronunciation.
- If the first opportunity to correct someone is long-gone, try telling them privately to optimize comfort for both you and the other party.
- Come up with a script to correct people’s pronunciation of your name, practice it repeatedly, and find moments to use it so others can learn. Use the phrases below to get started.
Phrases
- “Just to let you know, you’re pronouncing my name incorrectly. It’s pronounced… “
- “Actually, I go by the [insert cultural identity here] pronunciation of my name which is…”
- “Could we spend a few moments practicing the pronunciation of my name? I’d love to teach you… “
Additional Resources
Click here for more information on cultural competence and humility.
Looking for sites that provide recordings and phonetic spellings of names in various languages? Click here.
Want more content by Anparasan Sivakumaran? Click here for more and watch Anparasan’s video, “How to Respect my ethnic name,” below.
References
Baobeid, I., 2018. What’s in a name?. [online] Student Services. Available at: <https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/whats-name>.
Wordonthestreets.net. 2020. Word on the Streets : How to respect my ethnic name. [online] Available at: <https://www.wordonthestreets.net/Articles/590638/How_to_respect.aspx>.
Yang, M., 2020. Honoring Ethnic Names is an Important Way to Celebrate Diversity of Families in America. [online] Parents. Available at: <https://www.parents.com/baby-names/ideas/origin/honoring-ethnic-names-is-an-important-way-to-celebrate-diversity-of-families-in-america/>.